I’ll always associate one particular phrase with my mom in law. Before your imagination runs too far away into sitcom land, where in-laws don’t mesh and comedy ensues, I’ll share that I have a close bond with my mother in law. Sometimes my wife’s family even teases me for being mom’s “favorite child!”
In any case, the familiar phrase is: “Ian, there’s coffee!” Now feel free to picture that line spoken in the warm but slightly threadbare voice of an octogenarian, because that’s how I hear it in my head.
“There’s coffee” is a refrain spoken every time I’ve stepped into mom’s well worn, and nicknack filled shoebox home. And there is much more in that offered mug, than just coffee. Mom’s announcement signals that the comforts of her home are open to me – nourishment, warmth and caring. This is an offer of hospitality. Have you considered that hospitality isn’t just for the family we know, but also for the wider human family that we know less about? Hospitality makes the weary traveler, the returning friend, and the unknown newcomer alike all feel cared for, comforted, and protected.
Across many cultures there are tales that remind us to show hospitality to those less familiar to us. And sometimes these tales are even paired with a warning – that we may host the powerful, and the divine and not even know it. While there is always an audience watching our example, I don’t believe the value of giving hospitality is in passing tests, or avoiding punishment from secret powers. Hospitality isn’t truly about how we would treat those in positions of authority. Hospitality is about how we would treat anyone, including those with the least power or the lowest station.
The value of offering hospitality is not in covering bases in case our guest could later help, or punish us. It is in the recognition that every person carries a special value, even when the specific shape of that unique light is not known to us. The practice of hospitality says that everyone is worthy to feel cared for, comforted and protected. Let’s remember that even if we are only the steward of modest things, even small offers of hospitality are a potent way to normalize kindness, to strengthen community, and to create a better world.
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